UNEXPECTED HEADLINES [VIP]: New York City Might Need to Track Your Farts to Save the Planet. “Please, someone, tell me I’m wrong about this one. And if I am, I hope at least you’ll get a laugh or two out of what follows in this article. But if I’m even just half-right — the jokiest parts of this article are obviously just jokes, after all — then our would-be world-savers have gone completely off the deep end.”