JEFF DUNETZ IS ANSWERING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: Did Moses Get Cheated On Passover?

Moses endured Pharaoh, the Exodus, and forty years of wandering in a desert-like wilderness with Jews constantly complaining about the food. But on the holiday, remembering the Exodus from slavery— he doesn’t even get offered something to drink! Not even a glass of freaking water (which today he could get without beating up a rock).

But Elijah, Mr. “ride a flaming chariot into heaven,” gets a glass of wine at every Seder, in every Jewish house worldwide.

The last line of the entire Torah begins with, “And there was no other prophet who arose in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face.” But the rabbis decided Elijah gets to party during Passover seders.

And guess what? Elijah is rewarded at every bris (ritual circumcision). The child’s parents put out an extra chair– for Elijah! So, while the guy who wouldn’t pray for the Jewish people gets wine on Passover and then bagels and whitefish at every bris. On the other hand, Moses, the prophet like no other who arose in Israel-gets bubkis.

Moses is called Moshe Rabbeinu, which means Moses, the Teacher. Perhaps he can join a teacher’s union and get to take off with full pay during a worldwide tragedy even when it’s over (like the AFT). After all, if anyone deserves union protection to be prevented from being cheated out of recognition, it’s Moses, the screwed prophet.

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