21st CENTURY RELATIONSHIPS: Leonardo DiCaprio only dates women under twenty-five BECAUSE he’s an eco-warrior.
Social media is yet to understand the positives. One earth-ruiner said “Leonardo DiCaprio’s dedication to dropping his girlfriends that he only gets by reputation and name alone the second they hit 25 is genuinely disturbing. No one so extremely ageist doesn’t have skeletons in their closet. Like, how young do you REALLY like them? It’s alarming.”
Another climate change denier said: “I know it’s a running joke that Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t date anyone over the age of 25 and breaks-up with his girlfriends literally before/when they do turn 25 but I think we all need to really reckon with how absolutely fucking predatory this type of shit is.”
While those who don’t “Follow the Science” are calling for DiCaprio’s scalp, Cockburn commends him for his reliability and selflessness. The stats are truly breathtaking. There’s nothing better than a man who can put his feelings aside in order to single-handedly make inroads into overpopulation. Plus Camila Morrone will be fine: Pete Davidson is newly single, after all.
Heh, indeed.
Iowahawk charts the numbers:
