SNOWFALLS ARE NOW JUST A THING OF THE PAST: Throw a Net Over Her: Climate Lunatic Ties Herself to Net at French Open.

Doomsday prophets warning that “the end is near” used to be rare and fringy; now they’re cutting-edge climate activists. On Friday, during the third set at the French Open tennis tournament as Norway’s Casper Ruud led Croatia’s Marin Cilic 4-1, the match was interrupted for fifteen minutes. Just as Ruud was about to serve, he instead watched incredulously as a “climate activist,” that is, a brainwashed lunatic, ran onto the court and tied herself by the neck to the net, to save the planet or something.

This comes just days after another “climate activist” at the Louvre in Paris jumped up from a wheelchair in front of shocked crowds and tried to smash the bulletproof glass protecting Leonardo da Vinci’s renowned Mona Lisa, finally settling for smearing the glass with cake. With all this hardcore climate activism going on, how can the planet avoid being saved?

At the French Open, the protester, a young woman (not that I’m a biologist) who looked to be in her twenties sat stone-faced at the net until security personnel cut her loose. While the hysteria was in full swing, the tennis players returned to their dressing rooms, where there were no “climate activists” around to do insane things.

The clock has started on the latest not-so-final-countdown. To be fair though, if the world does come to an end 2.8 years from now, it will be much more likely to be Brandon or Putin’s fault than global warming.

(Classical reference in headline.)