COVERING THE IMPORTANT NEWS: A History of the Last Time I Ate at a Chinese Buffet. “As the waitress went off to retrieve my drink, I stood up, aimed myself at the buffet, and….RELEASE THE KRAKEN! It’s easy, especially if you’re somewhat tallish and large-bodied, as I am, to imagine yourself as Godzilla, grabbing up random things — egg rolls, fishing boats, pork dumplings, Tokyo office towers — and snapping them with your jaws, the crumbs of buildings and chicken parts falling onto the dun-colored carpet below.”