JIM TREACHER: God Bless America, and God Bless Meghan Markle.

Meghan Markle is an American hero and I’m tired of pretending she isn’t. Not only will I vote for her when she inevitably runs for president, but I’ll petition to have her face added to Mount Rushmore. She might not be the first woman of color to become POTUS (sorry, Joe, hang in there as long as you can), but she’s the first woman of color to strike at the very heart of America’s first and greatest foe.

If you doubt me, consider the most important metric in 2021: Twitter trends. #AbolishTheMonarchy is trending! The seed has been planted. Our job now, my fellow Americans, is to nurture that seed and watch it grow and flourish.

And the best part is, the Brits have to just sit there and take it. Meghan’s got Harry by the short and curlies, and she’s not letting go. Sure, Piers Morgan will go on a tweetstorm, their little country’s talking heads will jabber about her on “breakfast telly” or whatever, but they can’t do squat about it. Markle will keep on playing them like a fiddle. And as a red-blooded American, I couldn’t be more proud.

Sorry not sorry, Britain. America doesn’t need a queen, because Meghan is our KWEEN.

Put that in your tea and gulp it!

Her Déjà Di and Déjà Duchess of Windsor fashion sense may be the real tell: