JIM TREACHER: Baltimore Activist Wants to Pay Criminals Not to Kill People. “I like this idea, obviously. You can catch more flies with a carrot than a stick, or something. But why rely on the government to do it? It should be privatized. It’s up to each of us to make the world a safer place. Here’s what I suggest: Go around your neighborhood and remind everybody that it’s a nice place and it would be a shame if something… happened to it. You never know when somebody’s gonna get shot, do ya? But for a very reasonable price of $1,000 a month, you’ll agree not to shoot anybody. Is that really too much to pay to ensure your family’s safety? Who could refuse such an offer?”

Heh, indeed.™