JIM TREACHER: On the Second Anniversary of Jussie Smollett’s Attack, the Case Remains Unsolved.

I’ll always remember that day because I was scheduled for jury duty here in my hometown of Indianapolis, but I got out of it because the whole city government shut down that week due to the extreme cold. That’s why I was so confused that Smollett would be walking the streets of Chicago at 2 in the morning during the worst cold snap since the ’80s. It was like 20 below zero. But that just proves how much Jussie Smollett loves Subway sandwiches. They should hire him as their new spokesman! Is he really any worse than their last one?

Heh, indeed.™ Treacher’s article is just for our VIP members; please use the discount code LOYALTY if you’ve been thinking of becoming a supporter.