YES, YOU DO HAVE TO HUG YOUR GREAT AUNT HEDWIG: I guess I asked for this: As a law professor I was curious, so I ordered from Amazon several books about “consent.” One is called Consent on Campus: A Manifesto; another is The Consent Guidebook: A Practical Approach to Consensual, Respectful, and Enthusiastic Interactions. (Yes, I’ve been accused of being a masochist.)

But when they arrived on Saturday I just didn’t have the energy to sit down and study them. I figured the easiest one to get through was C is for Consent, which is 14 pages long (with pictures!) and aimed at young children, so I decided to look first at it.

The book tries to instill in children the attitude that nobody can touch them without their explicit consent. It includes a drawing of a perfectly pleasant looking grandmother who wants nothing more in the world than a hug from her little grandson. Alas, the grandson doesn’t feel like it.

“That’s okay,” says Dad. “You don’t have to give hugs if you don’t want to!”

Yes, you do. If prune-faced, slightly smelly grandma, who never hurt a fly and remembered your birthday last month, wants a hug, dammit, hug her. Not feeling like it is no excuse.  She loves you, and one day you’ll realize that you can use all the love you can get, maybe especially the unconditional kind you’re getting from grandma.

Increasingly, I don’t fit into the world.