THE LEFT RUINS EVERYTHING: Even sex is in crisis in Venezuela, where contraceptives are growing scarce.

When she couldn’t renew her supply of birth control pills, Gutierrez and her husband made a choice. Long-term abstinence was not an option, they agreed.

They tried to be careful, but soon she was pregnant with her second child.

“We barely eat three times a day now,” said a distraught Gutierrez, a former hair washer in a beauty salon who lost her job because of the economic crisis. “I don’t know how we’re going to feed another mouth.”

While the Maduro-neé-Chavez regime is busy rehashing Soviet policy, maybe they can keep the populace amused with rehashed Soviet humor.