AN OPEN LETTER TO AMERICA’S FIRST FEMINIST PRESIDENT:

Dear President Obama,

Last week you became the first commander-in-chief to declare yourself a feminist. Using Glamour as a podium, you called on all Americans — men in particular — to become feminists, and even boasted about having taught your daughters to expect the men they love to be feminists.

You’re free to call yourself anything you like. But you’re not free to lie to the American people.

Over the past eight years, Obama has also been declared the first black president (or second!, as Bill Clinton’s zanier supporters might argue), the first Jewish president, first Asian-American president, first Hispanic president, even the first “Our first female president,” by Sarah Palin’s bête noire, Kathleen Parker. Our semi-retired president really is the Peter Lemon Moodring of Washington, isn’t he?