I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOTIC INK-STAINED OVERLORDS: The Washington Post will use robots to write stories about the Rio Olympics.

Say what you will about Jeff Bezos, but the man sure knows how to use automation to generate maximum efficiency on all of his assembly lines! On the flipside though, from Joseph Pulitzer to Woodward and Bernstein to the juicebox JournoList mafia to robots — the Washington Post isn’t exactly advancing the quality of journalists who’ve walked through their doors during the newspaper’s lifespan.   

(Classical allusion in headline.)