HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT BE RIGHT NOW? Bernie Sanders will ‘absolutely’ change US-UK defence relationship if elected president. Sanders campaign says US tired of ‘defending the rest of the world’ as surging candidate closes gap with Hillary Clinton in national polls.

Imagining the very worst, immediately after entering the Oval Office, I could see him taking a bust of Winston Churchill that’s been in the White House for years, and mailing it back, just to symbolically flip England the bird. Then just to childishly pour salt in the wound, he’ll give the queen an iPod full of his speeches. He’ll claim he’s too exhausted to host the prime minister. Then he’ll declare that in reality, France is our strongest ally, and keep up the socialist virtue signalling by constantly referring to the Falklands as “the Maldives.”

Oh wait