A SPIDER THREATENING MY CHILD BROUGHT OUT THE KILLER IN ME: “I have arachnophobia… sometimes. But threaten my kids, you wretched beasts of field and rafter, and I will pounce on your creepy butts like a rabid feral cat or something equally scary. There will be blood (if that goopy stuff that comes out of spiders is blood, I don’t know… but there will be lots of that).”
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