SHOCKINGLY, NOT BY E.J. DIONNE: Who Do You Write For When Your Audience Disappears?

FROM JAZZ SHAW: A brief word on James Bond and martinis. “If you’re the people spending your time complaining about how much James Bond drank or what a bad role model James Bond is, I’m betting James Bond would kick your *** for you in a New York minute.”

COLORADO SCHOOL SHOOTER: “He was a weird kid,” Davis said. “He’s a self-proclaimed communist, just wears Soviet shirts all the time.”

SO THE TOPIC FOR MY USA TODAY COLUMN THAT I WOUND UP NOT USING was about how the story of the bogus translator at the Mandela funeral illustrates that everyday life is full of the kinds of inconsistencies and improbabilities that fuel conspiracy theories. Imagine if that guy had actually been a terrorist or an assassin, and had killed Obama and other leaders — suddenly his mental-health problems, his hiring by a fly-by-night company that vanished, his non-existent language school, the absence of security screenings at the event, would all look like some part of a coordinated plot, instead of general incompetence.

Just remember that in the future. Unless, of course, that’s what this was all about, which would prove that it really is a conspiracy!!!!

REMEMBERING Christopher Hitchens.

GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE: Public Confidence in Britain’s NHS At Record Low. “Three damning reports last night laid bare the crisis in NHS hospitals, maternity units and GP surgeries. One investigation revealed that a quarter of new mothers were abandoned by their midwives during labour, with some left to give birth on the floor or in corridors. The second found that mistakes deemed so serious they should never happen are being made in hospitals five times a week. And the third survey said thousands of patients have all but given up trying to secure appointments with their family doctor.”

SHE WAS A NOVELTY ACT. NOW SHE’S NOT NOVEL ANYMORE. What Happened To Lady Gaga?

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NEW FRONTIER IN SCHOOL CHOICE: Education Savings Accounts.

MEGYN KELLY INSTINCTIVELY KNEW THIS: Irrefutable Proof That Santa Is Odin.

R.I.P. Peter O’Toole. Amongst all the retrospectives, let me suggest The Stunt Man as his most underrated role. I saw him on some morning show when Lawrence of Arabia was rereleased, and the Katie Couric-type interviewing him asked what his best picture was, obviously expecting him to say Lawrence of Arabia. The befuddlement when he said The Stunt Man instead was beautiful to behold. Also, Barbara Hershey is delicious.

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE, LEGAL EDUCATION EDITION: “I consider law school a waste of my life and an extraordinary waste of money.”

NEWS YOU CAN USE: You Don’t Need To Take Pictures Of Everything – And Taking Photos May Impede Memory. This is excellent advice.

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ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE: Jupiter’s Moon Europa Is Bursting With Icy Geysers.

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HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: If you’re good-looking, you’re more likely to complete college.

RATS ON THE WEST SIDE, BEDBUGS UPTOWN: Cockroach Never Seen Before in U.S. Is Identified in New York.

“REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS:” There’s a popular feeling in the air that America has become decadent. Contrasting Harry Potter to the Hunger Games shows what a difference a decade can make.

Of course, you must read my colleague Ben Barton’s piece on the libertarian roots of Harry Potter. “Rowling’s scathing portrait of government is surprisingly strident and effective. . . . Her critique is also particularly effective because, despite how awful Rowling’s Ministry of Magic looks and acts, it bears such a tremendous resemblance to current Anglo-American government. Rowling’s negative picture of government is thus both subtle and extraordinarily piercing. Taken in the context of the Harry Potter novels and the personalities of the bureaucrats involved, each of the above acts of government misconduct seems perfectly natural and familiar to the reader. The critique works because the reader identifies her own government with Rowling’s Ministry of Magic. . . . Rowling may do more for libertarianism than anyone since John Stuart Mill.”

VIDEO: Milton Friedman: The Economics of Socialized Medicine.

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THESE PEOPLE NEED TO EMBRACE DIVERSITY: The Upper West Side Recoils From Trailer Park Invasion. “It just sort of creeps me out that somebody is living in a parking space, and this may give rise to other people thinking that it’s a cheap way to live on the Upper West Side, where the rents are high. Is Manhattan going to become a trailer park?”

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE, LEGAL EDUCATION EDITION: These 30 law schools became more affordable in the last 3 years.