WORRIES ABOUT Iran’s Asymmetric Warfare.

TODAY IN LEGAL SCHOLARSHIP.

AT AMAZON, a sale on Levi’s jeans for men.

TOM MAGUIRE: Orlando Sentinel has two voice recognition experts; I have four.

TEN YEARS AGO ON AOL/INSTAPUNDIT.COM:

OKAY, THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND: I thought the whole AOL acquisition routine was pretty obviously an April Fool joke, but I just got an inquiry from a Big Media guy who seemed very excited about the whole thing and wanted to do a story on it, so I guess I need to be clear here: It’s not real. It was an April Fool’s story in The Register, which I just picked up on because it mentioned me. I’m still independent, and I have, yet again (the first time was in ’88 or ’89, and I think AOL was still called Quantum or something like that) missed out on my chance for big AOL bucks. . . .

Er, that also means that you shouldn’t ignore the “tip jar” to the left on the presumption that I’m now filthy rich because of the new acquisition. Sadly, my financial status remains unaltered.

Oh, and at the risk of spoiling things, I don’t think Bjorn Staerk has suddenly become a Stalin (and Chomsky)-worshipping communist, either. But, interestingly, his April Fool posting is more coherent and persuasive than most of the folks he’s parodying.

A lot of people fell for the Staerk thing.

UPDATE: How things have changed in 10 years: From joking about AOL buying InstaPundit to joking about InstaPundit buying AOL.

JOURNALISM NARRATIVE MAINTENANCE: Lawyers Who Voted for Obama Want His Health Care Law to be Upheld. “It turns out that the only ‘Reagan Administration lawyers’ they are able to quote are Charles Fried and Doug Kmiec, both of whom quite publicly endorsed candidate Obama in 2008. Kmiec, in fact, was rewarded with an ambassadorship for his service.” Not David Savage’s finest moment.

MITT ROMNEY and his running mate Paul Ryan.

CALIFORNIA: Where You Need A Lobbyist To Build A House. “The country’s most populous state is strangling itself in red tape. And if you need to hire a lobbyist to negotiate the permit process for building a home, ask yourself what starting a business or building a factory will involve.”

GREED: Reader Hank Bradley writes: “Today the Seattle Times launches the first of four feature articles, attacking Amazon for insufficient charitable donations by the corporation in its hometown. One of the leads: ‘Despite sales of $1,500 per second, Amazon gives little to charity’. Someone sorely wishes to dip a beak in that income stream.”

Of course they do. Though they’re probably just following the example of Joe Biden. Meanwhile, a note to the Amazon folks: If you’re feeling unappreciated in Seattle, I’m sure Tennessee would welcome a headquarters relocation. . . .

UPDATE: Reader Scott Cosman writes: “It is really amazing how bad the Seattle Times has become. Except for outstanding high school sports coverage, they offer little. This article was basically a listing of people/groups that feel they deserve some Amazon money. The article was sad and an embarrassment.”

I’VE BEEN POSTING LINKS TO GARDENING BOOKS, and reader James Foster emails a recommendation for The Backyard Orchardist: A Complete Guide to Growing Fruit Trees in the Home Garden.

CHANGE: 49% to 38% — voters trust Republicans over Democrats on the economy (which they consider the most important issue). “Back in January, Republicans had the edge by 47% to 40%, so that’s a 2 point shift toward Republicans, the highest since last October. Voters have favored Republicans over Democrats on the economy since June 2009.”

WHEN ACADEMICS are out of touch.

SHOCKING: Biden’s Jobs Claims Fail Fact Check. “In all, since Obama took office, the U.S. has lost 661,000 manufacturing jobs. In fact, the manufacturing sector has taken a bigger hit under Obama — undercutting Biden’s claim that ‘manufacturing is back.'”

CULTURE OF CORRUPTION: Obama campaign reviewing background of volunteer fundraiser accused of fraud. “Assongba disputes the allegations, but the mysteries around her personal life highlight a challenge for Obama’s reelection effort and other presidential campaigns. The astronomical cost of running for the White House requires an army of bundlers, many of whom are strangers to the campaign. And as candidates quickly learn, it is no small task to woo — and vet — those citizen fundraisers.”

Really. “An Army of Bundlers?”

PERSONAL ASSISTANTS FOR THE MASSES:

Three years ago, Ted Roden was sitting in a maternity ward with his wife and newborn baby when he came to a realization. Between his full-time job as a New York Times developer, the book he was writing, and his family, when would he ever again find time for the small yet necessary tasks of everyday life like booking a dinner reservation? Or paying his electric bill? Or scheduling a phone call with this reporter?

That’s when Roden came up with the idea for Fancy Hands, a team of personal assistants that helps you accomplish the kinds of basic tasks anybody can do, so you have more time to do the things only you can do. For example, Fancy Hands can’t write this article for me, but they can do all the things that might be keeping me from writing it, like calling the cable company or scheduling a dentist appointment. . . .

While Roden is coy about the specific number of requests Fancy Hands handles daily, he says that during January and February of this year, his assistants logged over 40,000 minutes on the phone for his clients–that’s about a full month straight of talk-time. And phone jobs don’t even make up the majority of Fancy Hands’ work; most requests involve emailing, proofreading, and research.

Interesting.

I WAS EXPECTING AN EARTH-SHATTERING KABOOM: Simulations unravel mysteries of 2009 Jupiter impact.

FIVE REASONS WHY Syria Isn’t Libya.

AT AMAZON, Easter markdowns in Kitchen, Dining, and Bakeware.

BAD AS THINGS WERE, THEY COULD BE A LOT WORSE: Japan experts warn of future risk of giant tsunami. “Much of Japan’s Pacific coast could be inundated by a tsunami more than 112 feet high if a powerful earthquake hits offshore, according to revised estimates by a government panel. The panel of experts says any tsunami unleashed by a magnitude-9.0 earthquake in the Nankai trough, which runs east of Japan’s main island of Honshu to the southern island of Kyushu, could top 34 meters at its highest.” How do you prepare for something like that?

THE MARS MYSTERY CLOUD, explained.

THAT LIBYA THING LOOKING MORE EXPENSIVE IN RETROSPECT:

Air operations in Libya made it clear that European made missiles and smart bombs were every bit as good as the American stuff. As a result, the major European arms manufacturers (mainly BAE, EADS, and Finmeccanica) suddenly have billions of dollars in new orders. While some of this business comes from existing customers replacing all the missiles and bombs they used in Libya, a lot of new customers have shown up. These European weapons are now “battle tested” in a highly publicized and successful operation. Many countries are glad to see credible competition for American weapons. Competition means the buyer can negotiate a better deal.

The air campaign over Libya also demonstrated that one European missile, the Brimstone, was unique and superior to anything the U.S. had.

Oh, goody.

GARDEN AND GUN: Remembering Earl Scruggs.

REVIEW: The 2012 BMW 335i.

MY SUNDAY WASHINGTON EXAMINER COLUMN: Don’t blame Verrilli: It’s hard to defend the indefensible.