ONTARIO BANS DAN AYKROYD’S SKULL-SHAPED VODKA:

The clear-glass skull gazes out from the liquor shelves with a decidedly un-cadaverous smile. Save for the inch-long spout and knobby cork that protrude from its pate, Crystal Head Vodka’s distinctive bottle shape looks remarkably life-like, a curiosity you’d expect to see in a droll chiropractor’s office.

Or maybe that should be remarkably death-like, because that’s the Liquor Control Board of Ontario’s interpretation. And human remains do not convey the most tactful marketing message when your goal is to be a virtuous vendor of beverage alcohol.

Evidently, only the state is allowed to associate vice with death-related imagery.

Meanwhile, south of the 49th parallel, “What was it the hippies said? Never trust anybody over 30? Advice to DC women: Never trust anybody over 30 who expects the government to buy his condoms.”

(H/T: 5’F)