EAT MORE MEAT: Nearly a third of Americans eating fewer fresh vegetables after ‘explosive diarrhea’ virus outbreak.

Nearly a third of Americans cut back their produce consumption and nearly two-thirds changed their behavior this summer after an “explosive diarrhea” parasite ravaged rectums across the country, according to a poll.

At least 30% of people said they were buying less fresh produce at grocery stores over the cyclosporiasis parasite outbreak, which left tens of thousands of people cramping on their commodes from vicious bouts of viscous diarrhea.

I like to think I was ahead of the curve on this one. Way out ahead of the curve.