NOTE THIS IS A HEADLINE FROM TODAY. IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026: A Western Mass. lesbian bar required KN-95 masks. When it changed the rules, all hell broke loose.

The August 31 Instagram post from Last Ditch Bar and Arts Venue, a lesbian bar in Greenfield, was upbeat, teasing a new DJ lineup and a volunteer meetup. But partway down the rainbow-hued post labeled “UPDATES!” was a sentence that would splinter the queer community in this small Pioneer Valley city and beyond. “It is with love we inform our immunocompromised disabled divas we will be opening Saturday nights as mask optional,” wrote Last Ditch.

Previously, patrons were required to wear a well-fitted KN-95 mask “or better” at all times.

The new policy was not received with love.

“Just say you’re being complicit in a mass disabling event and get it over with,” wrote one commenter.

“people like you kill disabled people in the name of your own leisure and convenience,” posted another.

“I hope your venue gets firebombed for robbing my fellow immunocompromised people of their Saturday plans just to scrape extra revenue from ablists [sic],” wrote a third.

Well, now we know where perma-masked Taylor Lorenz hangs out these days. As for the rest of us:

Speaking of which: