GOOD GAL WITH A GUN: Felony Stupid: Woman Forces Entry on Des Moines Home.

There’s dumb and then there’s felony stupid. Stannita Wilson probably couldn’t spell “felony stupid” but she lived it boldly and with pride. At 46, Wilson should have known that life is harder if you make stupid choices, but bless her heart, she still tries. In this case, the questionable decision-making turned a Saturday night in Des Moines into a one-woman home invasion tour.

A homeowner, probably minding his or her own business with a cup of warm milk and a Wheel of Fortune rerun on the tube before bed, heard a shrieking lunatic in their back yard and banging on the door. That was Wilson.

Then the banging started on the back door. The far-too-polite soul unlocked it — probably because Midwestern manners, you know — and BAM, in stormed Wilson like she owned the place, acting like a violent fool and attacked the homeowner.

Fortunately, in addition to Midwestern manners, the victim was also in possession of a firearm. The un-named homeowner had grabbed it before calling 911, a move that may have saved their life.

Exit quote: “Please don’t shoot me no more.”