KRUISER: This Awful Thing That the Super Bowl Has Become Belongs on the Hallmark Channel. “Real sports fans loathe commercials. In fact, if there were an Olympic event that involved racing to grab a remote and mute an ad while we’re watching a game, we would all be contending for gold medals. Heaven help the person who gets between me and the remote as a football broadcast goes to a commercial about medication for leaping chlamydia.”