THIS IS NOT PHRASED AS A QUESTION: What happens when marriage becomes disposable.

Sometimes a marriage really is dangerous or irreparable. Abuse is not “a rough patch,” and infidelity isn’t always something a couple can or should survive. But what’s striking is how often the “leave” reflex shows up even when the situation is plainly ordinary: the grind of cohabitation, the stress of money, the monotony of raising children, the disappointment of discovering your spouse is a human being rather than a Disney-scripted soulmate.

This isn’t just an internet quirk. It’s a cultural tell, and it’s part of what’s behind the loneliness epidemic.

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General warned that social disconnection is a serious public health issue, associated with higher risks of premature death and a range of mental and physical health harms. Loneliness isn’t simply a sad feeling; it’s what happens when the institutions and habits that tether us to other people weaken or collapse. And marriage, even an imperfect marriage, has long been one of the strongest tethers most adults have.

So when advice-column comments normalize “jump ship” as the default response to ordinary friction, they’re not just giving bad counsel. They’re reinforcing a broader story: Relationships are optional, people are replaceable, and the moment things get hard, you should optimize.

That mindset didn’t arrive by accident. It tracks with how modern dating has been redesigned.

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