I’ll TAKE HEADLINES FROM 1943 FOR $500, ALEX: Porsches Across Russia Suddenly Stop Working.

Hundreds of Porsche cars have stopped working in Russia due to an issue with a satellite-based security system, according to local reports.

Owners reported various issues with their vehicles, including not being able to start the engine, or it shutting down soon after ignition. Others said that they had been locked out of their cars.

The root cause of the issue is not yet known, though a representative for Russia’s largest dealership group told local media that it could be an act of sabotage.

“It’s possible this was done deliberately,” the Rolf spokesperson told the RBC news website, without providing any evidence.

There is no official support for Russian Porsche owners after the German manufacturer suspended commercial operations in the country following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in 2022.

To be fair, Porsches have a long history of being surprisingly unreliable in Russia: Elefant Tank Destroyer: Ferdinand Porsche’s Epic Fail That Got Its Butt Kicked at Kursk.