JALOPNIK WISHES MILLIONS OF TEXANS A HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Beaver Fever: Writer’s Ridiculous Rant Against Beloved Buc-ee’s Fuels Readers’ Roadside Rage.

Buc-ee’s are popping up all over America. It’s to the point that the beaver-emblazoned beacon is becoming a roadside attraction in its own right. Why? Convenience and cleanliness — the giant gas stations are known for having massive, ultra-clean restrooms. There’s also every kind of snack, sandwich and soft drink you could ever want all under one roof. It’s no surprise then that a Trump-hating writer for Jalopnik (yep, we never heard if it either) would call these shrines to roadside comfort and capitalism, a ‘sickness’.

Read on.

Lefties hate Buc-ee's…
Because they hate America:
Pristine spacious bathrooms, great quick nutritious food, dozens of FAST (9-10gpm) gas pumps..
Pay employees well.
Friendly staff.

And red & yellow "water cans" with flexible spouts perfect for filling tractors with diesel.

— BrowningMachine, Garbage Nazi! (@BrowningMachine) November 29, 2024

They really do pay their employees quite well:

Make sure you share this with the European friends you’re trying to impress. pic.twitter.com/bsst0FGjMB

— Moog Rogue (@MoogRogue) November 29, 2024

The European mind cannot comprehend the wonders of Buc-ee’s.

Flashback: Episode Five of the Babylon Bee’s series from 2022 devoted to a California couple moving to Texas, where Steve and Timpani discover that you can immanentize the eschaton:

Related: America Thrives at the Interstate Exit. Buc-ee’s is about as pure a distillation of American capitalism as there has ever been.