OLD AND BUSTED: England’s Great Train Robbery.

The New Hotness in Old Blighty? The Great Cheese Robbery! Massive Cheese Heist in London: Authorities Describe Thieves’ Plan as Brie-lliant.

There are con men, then there are con artists, and then there is the guy who passed himself off as a French cheese wholesaler and made off with 22 metric tons (48,488 pounds) of award-winning British cheddar. You have to admit; that’s fetamazing.

Thieves with a nose for fine cheese have pulled off a massive cheddar ripoff in London.

Neal’s Yard Dairy said a con artist posing as a wholesale distributor for a major French retailer had made off with 22 metric tons (48,488 pounds) of award-winning cheddar worth 300,000 British pounds ($390,000) before the company realized it had been scammed and reported the theft on Monday.

“The high monetary value of these cheeses likely made them a particular target for the thieves,” Neal’s Yard Dairy, a distributor, wholesaler, and retailer of British artisanal cheese, said in a statement.

Whoever this con artist is, he’s too gouda to be believed. While I’m not any more fondue of crooks than anyone else, you’ve got to admit, this took some chutzpah. One wonders if the mastermind planned this provolone, or if he had help. I mean, that’s a pretty sharp trick to pull off. I camembert an equally audacious act of thievery, anywhere. It almost has a roma-ntic vibe to it, doesn’t it? If you don’t think so, well, I suppose we can abrie to disabrie.

In their write-up of the incident, the BBC made sure to include the most important detail of the incident: “Westcombe Dairy’s maturing cave is equipped with cheddar-turning robot, nicknamed Tina the Turner.”

That’s absolutely adorable.