MAGGOTS FOR THEE, BUT NOT FOR ME: FBI probes possible maggot attack on food at Ohio delegation hotel at Democratic convention.

Chicago Police and the FBI are investigating if saboteurs placed maggots in the hotel breakfast being served to delegates at the Democratic National Conventionon Wednesday, local media reported.

The incident took place at Fairmont hotel, where delegates from Ohio, Indiana, Minnesota, Missouri and South Dakota are staying.

“Multiple unknown female offenders are alleged to have entered a building…and began placing unknown objects onto tables containing food,” the convention’s information center said in a statement cited by WGN. “The offenders are believed to have then left the area. One victim was treated and released on-scene. Along with CPD, FBI-Chicago is assisting in the investigation. No further information is available at this time.”

“Saboteurs?” Update your Newspeak Dictionary; you spelled environmentally conscious people on the cutting edge of doubleplusgood sustainable resources incorrectly, comrade! Maggots, other insects could become U.S. food staple as consumers seek out sustainability.