JAMES LILEKS: Why is this column like deep-dish pizza? You can stick a fork in both.

For my last column at the [Minneapolis] Star Tribune, I am going to be as self-indulgent as the medium permits. Consider this the equivalent of a condemned man’s request for a last meal.

Speaking of which, what would you choose for yours?

Sometimes I think I’d go for deep-dish pizza, if only for the argument I could have with the prison official who walked me down the last mile. “That wasn’t pizza,” he’d say. “That’s more of a casserole.”

“No, it has the elements of pizza, just in an exaggerated form.” I’d turn to the priest walking alongside. “Father, back me up here.”

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