LEFT-WING TIKTOKERS MELT DOWN OVER SUPREME COURT:
“It is the biggest power grab that the Supreme Court has made since 1805 … I’m not f***ing kidding!”
That was how one totally sane, rational TikToker responded to the Supreme Court’s recent ruling on federal agencies’ regulatory authority, in a viral video reaching 4.7 million people.
“Do you enjoy flying in an airplane and being reasonably certain that it won’t plummet out of the sky, killing you and everyone else aboard?” another popular TikToker asked. “Well, say goodbye to that peace of mind because the Supreme Court is now in charge of the Transportation Administration.”
People need not worry just about planes falling out of the sky but also that companies will intentionally poison our drinking water after the high court’s decision, the legal scholars of TikTok claimed.
“Companies want nothing more than to put asbestos in your drinking water,” a TikToker in one viral video with 3.5 million views pronounced. “Justice Clarence Thomas will write a majority decision allowing companies to put asbestos in your drinking water and then driving away in a brand new Winnebago paid for by the asbestos company.”
Thankfully, this hysteria has no basis in reality.
Of course not. As James Lileks noted in 2003: “For all these accusations to work, you have to believe that Republicans want poisoned water. You have to believe they drink different water than everyone else. And, of course, they do:”
Doubt it? Switch parties. Join the GOP, and see what happens: cheerful clean-cut uniformed men show up the next day, and take you off the city water lines. They’ll connect you to the special Republican water system that crosses the nation, supplying pure clean perfect water to GOP households. You can get it without Fluoride, too, as a sop to the Birchers and Goldie holdovers.
And there’s more! They’ll also install special GOP “screens” for your windows — they’ll trap airborne pollutants as small as three molecule across. You’ll also have access to rich, satisfying Republican sunshine, which tans you twice as fast — just look at Bob Dole! — and you’ll enjoy even-tempered Republican weather all year long. This is why Republicans don’t care about pollution, or bad water, or the ozone layer, or global warming: for all practical purposes, they’re not living on the same planet as the rest of the people, so they don’t care at all what happens to you.
True! All true! Invite a Republican over and hand him a glass of water. Watch him avoid drinking it — sometimes they spill it, sometimes they just say “I had water earlier today, thanks anyway” — and sometimes they sneak a little sponge out of their cuff, put it in their mouth and pretend to drink. Oh, they’re clever.
Well, if this isn’t true, then perhaps . . . maybe . . . there’s another side to this arsenic debate. Is it possible? Could it be?
Nahh, that’s crazy talk.