AMERICA’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD: Obama Panics As His Biden Remote Control Loses Connection.

LOS ANGELES, CA — The most powerful man in America was forced to deal with an unexpected emergency last night, with former President Barack Obama suffering a moment of panic due to his Biden remote control suddenly losing connection.

The incident occurred during a ritzy fundraiser where Obama was once again using his state-of-the-art remote control to guide President Joe Biden through a pre-programmed routine as he rubbed elbows with Hollywood celebrities to raise cash for his re-election campaign.

“Oh… oh no… not again,” Obama was heard muttering on stage as Biden appeared to experience yet another of his frequent glitches and freeze, leaving Obama at a loss as to what to do. “Why can’t they get this thing fixed?! C’mon, man! He’s frozen out there like a mannequin again. Those maintenance techs are going to get a piece of my mind!”

By the way, is Teleprompter XD-235 still gainfully employed by the White House? Has anybody inquired as to how it’s holding up under the massively increased strain these days?