MARK JUDGE: Help Me Hire a Stripper to Read My Audiobook.

We still don’t know for sure if it was a stripper or a belly dancer.

We do know, however, that the dancer who performed for our high school music teacher at a bachelor party in 1982 was part of the news cycle in 2018. That’s when the American political left and the Stasi media tried to destroy me.

That’s why I need to hire a stripper to do the audio version of my book The Devil’s Triangle: Mark Judge vs the New American Stasi.

It’s not a prank. Getting a professional adult dancer to read The Devil’s Triangle would work aesthetically and as a broader cultural commentary on modern politics and media. It would defy the new liberal Stasi who buzzkill everything, and even make a few tight-ass conservatives who were afraid to defend me nervous.

Our 1982 bachelor party erupted in the news in 2018, during the nightmarish Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings. Opposition researchers—including a couple of disgruntled classmates from my time at Georgetown Prep—tried to sink Kavanaugh, a classmate of mine, by depicting me, him, and the entire class 1983, as party people and womanizers. They found a description of the 1982 bash with the stripper in something I’d written years before, and were off to the races. It was The Wild Life meets The Lives of Others. The Washington Post employed a reporter to find out if we’d hired a belly dancer or a stripper. There’s still a debate about that. I only remember the dancer as very pretty and nice.

I survived the 2018 hit and wrote a book about the experience. The Devil’s Triangle recently got some media attention when I was interviewed by Martha MacCallum for a documentary that’s now airing on Fox Nation. This was followed by a blistering column by Kathleen Parker in The Washington Post—defending me.

Now, if we sell enough books, there will be an audio version.

Hiring a stripper to read The Devil’s Triangle is an in-your-face move, but there are also some layers to it. The first is artistic. Juxtaposing a narrative about an evil political plot and 1980s teen stream-of-consciousness with a rich feminine voice would work brilliantly. Two opposite elements that produce something dynamic.

As Ross Douthat wrote in 2018 during the Kavanaugh hearings, “The Year of Our Lord 1982, upon whose disputed summertime events a Supreme Court nomination now hinges, was part of the Reagan era but not a particularly conservative year.”