JON GABRIEL: As unhappy as Americans are, Biden-Trump debates may actually be a welcome break.

Great news, everyone: Joe Biden and Donald Trump have agreed to hold two debates. If you want a preview, just watch some old episodes of “The Muppet Show” where those two old guys bicker in the balcony.

To be fair, I’m surprised either candidate agreed to these no-win campaign stunts. Scheduled for June 27 and Sept. 10, the debates promise to be a minefield of gaffes that will take years off the lives of any staffers cringing in the wings.

If no one falls off the dais or starts chewing the lectern, both sides will call it a success.

Neither candidate is popular, to put it kindly. According to a recent Pew Research poll, 48% of registered voters support Biden, 49% support Trump, and 49% want both candidates kicked off the ballot.

A couple of old geezers talking smack

 That last sentiment grows the younger the sample gets. Two-thirds of voters under 30 say they would replace both candidates if they had the chance.

At least I’m young at heart.

“Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020, since then he hasn’t shown up for a debate,” Biden said in a post on X. “Now he’s acting like he wants to debate me again. Well, make my day, pal.”

Trump, for his part, said Biden was the “WORST debater I have ever faced – He can’t put two sentences together!” He ended his Truth Social post with, “Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!”

Oldest democracy on the planet or “Jerry Springer” promo: you be the judge.

It’s 2024, so embrace the healing power of “And.” But will the debates actually happen? Drug Testing Prior to Presidential Debates? From the comments: “You are missing the point. Trump made the ‘demand’ to propogate [sic] the narrative that POTATUS is too old and senile to be President. It doesn’t matter if Biden submits to the test, gives results, whatever. Trump just placed another Free Ad by manipulating the media. Marketing genius.”