THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING NANNYSTATERS CAN’T MAKE WORSE: Dating apps are awful; a Colorado bill will make them worse.

On the Hinge dating app, the basic text prompts where users share information about themselves are an unmitigated hellscape.

“All sex is choke sex when you’re being strangled by the invisible hand of capitalism,” read one profile I came across. The app offers a surprisingly large number of men who like to do yoga in the nude. A different man holds up a picture of himself with a “world’s smallest cock” mug and yet didn’t bother to post a picture of the adorable rooster. Things aren’t much better once you open a chat: I recently asked a man in his 40s what he liked about Spain and he replied simply, “Chicas.”

These are relatively tame examples. Unfortunately, some people deal with dangerous and aggressive users on dating apps, and lawmakers are taking note. But however terrible online dating may be, government intervention isn’t the answer: The problem is the users, not the apps.

A bill recently introduced in Colorado aims to make dating apps such as Hinge and Bumble safer for users. The first section of Senate Bill 24-011 would force all dating services with any users in Colorado to submit an annual report to Colorado’s attorney general about misconduct reports from users in the state or about users in the state. If that isn’t available, the app must report all misconduct reports from the entire United States. These reports would all become public.

While the bill leaves some of the details up to the state’s attorney general, this would probably mean that when people file false reports about each other on dating apps, the reports would all become public record.

On the plus side, maybe people will go back to picking up one another in bars.