AMERICA’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD: Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg Holds Emergency Press Conference To Announce He Is Taking 3 More Months Maternity Leave.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the morning after a tragic cargo ship accident and bridge collapse in Baltimore, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg called an emergency press conference to announce he is taking three more months of maternity leave.
“It has come to my attention that the twin babies I purchased at the baby store require more undivided attention,” said Buttigieg. “I will be taking some much-needed time off to care for my children, and that is in no way related to the tragic bridge collapse that apparently happened somewhere. Right now, I need to be a mother to my children. Please respect my family’s privacy during this time.”
It’s satire (for now), but back in what passes for reality in 2024, after the bridge collapse, AP is taking up one of Buttigieg’s pet causes — all those pesky racist roads: AP Gives Us a Biography of ‘Controversial Figure’ Francis Scott Key.
Gearing up to rename the bridge already, are we?
— GumSlinger (@GumSlinger) March 26, 2024