OUR COUNTRY IS IN THE BEST OF HANDS: I’m instituting a 30-day review . . . Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, having violated the law by not informing the president and other officials that he was in the hospital, has boldly announced a 30-day review to determine how to improve the procedures for transferring power when there is a break in the chain of command. Ann Coulter suggests that we all follow his example:

True, I failed to pay my taxes; therefore I’ll be instituting a 30-day review to recommend procedures to pay my  taxes.

As a result of my getting drunk at your wedding, heckling the ceremony and knocking over the wedding cake, I have commissioned a 30-day review to recommend procedures not to get drunk at weddings, heckle the ceremony and knock over the wedding cake.

Having been informed I was going 70 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed zone, I will be undertaking a 30-day review to recommend procedures not to go 70 miles per hour in 30 mph speed zones.

Of course, you have to be careful in appointing the members of your review committee.