THE MYTH OF BROOKLYN’S ‘JEW TUNNELS:’

So, some religious men in New York City dug a hole. I’m sorry, but why is this global news? Why is the Guardian reporting on it? Why was it splashed all over the pages of the Mirror and the Mail? Why did it trend on social media for hours? I was even WhatsApped video clips of this global non-event. ‘Look, a hole in the ground in NYC!’ And? I understand that the juggernaut of American culture, propelled across Earth by social media, makes spectators of us all to every incident and idea that unfolds across the pond. But a hole in the ground is a new low – pun intended.

Perhaps it’s because of who the hole-digging religious men were. Whisper it: Jews. Worse, Hasidic Jews. This is the case, of course, of 770 Eastern Parkway in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, home to the Chabad-Lubavitch World Headquarters. This is an insular Orthodox Jewish movement. On Monday night, some men were arrested at 770, as the headquarters are locally known, following the discovery of a kind of tunnel. A passageway had been illegally dug under the building, structural engineers turned up to fill it in, a few young Hasidics got angry with the engineers and the cops cuffed them. I can see why this is of interest to New Yorkers. It makes perfect sense that it made the pages of the New York press. But why can’t I, 3,500 miles away, so much as switch on a gadget without seeing breathless commentary on the Hasidic diggers and even feverish talk of ‘Jew tunnels’?

As far as we can tell, the tunnel was dug by rogue members of Chabad-Lubavitch. It is reportedly around 50 feet in length and stretches from the 770 synagogue to a men’s ritual bath area, which had been closed. Apparently, the young renegades dug the hole in the belief that they would enjoy redemption if they followed the command of Chabad-Lubavitch’s late rabbi, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, to extend the HQ. Most members of the movement frowned on the tunnel-digging. In fact, it was they who reported it to officialdom. A spokesman for Chabad-Lubavitch branded the zealous diggers ‘odious’.

That’s it. It’s a colourful story, for sure. If the Atlantic publishes a longform piece on the doctrinal clashes in this curious community, I’ll probably read it. But for it to trend, to make waves worldwide, is odd to say the least.

According to America’s Newspaper of Record, the tunnel diggers really overshot the mark: Jews Realize They’ve Dug Too Far When They Pop Out Of The Ground Next To A Mountie Drinking Maple Syrup On A Moose In Front Of A Tim Hortons.

Especially when there are two Tim Hortons in Brooklyn, and numerous others throughout the Empire State.