ACE OF SPADES: 20th Anniversary Repost: Kaboom Kids.

They should have called it “Kabul.” Just come right out with it. Let the people know what they’re in for.

This is a cereal intended for bulk purchase by the United States Department of Agriculture to feed dirty foreign children. And their animals, too. One stop shopping– they can all feed out of the same trough.

The cereal’s chief use was as a humanitarian insult.

You might wonder at this point, What possible connection is there between the clown theme and explosions, as suggested by the name “Kaboom”? Well, don’t bother thinking about it too hard. They sure didn’t. This product was slapped together more or less randomly by People Who Didn’t Even Care, intended for sale to People Who Care Just a Little Bit Less Than That.

Kaboom is not really a product designed for those who enjoy the life of the mind. Quite the opposite. It’s a product designed for those whose subnormal IQs locate them in the brutish twilight existence that divides, hazily, the crude human from the cunning beast.

The cereal is essentially designed with an eye towards the inevitable devolution of the species. Future-proof, if you will.

If the Morlocks had a cereal it would be Kaboom. But they’d insist on more flavor.

Pour yourself a huge bowl of Kaboom and read the whole thing.