SPOILSPORTS: Scared of Halloween: Ghoulies, ghosties and DEI beasties.

Halloween has been canceled at schools in New Jersey’s South Orange-Maplewood School District. No costumes, no parades, no Halloween-themed art or poetry — not even a handful of candy corn — will brighten the day.

Canceling Halloween will encourage diversity, equity and inclusion, says school officials.

No, it won’t. But it will help teach children to grow up to be oversensitive snowflakes, which is the point.