THE 21st CENTURY IS NOT WORKING OUT AS I HAD HOPED: Philadelphia is hosting FatCon, the first conference to celebrate overweight people.

Philadelphia is known for its cheesesteaks, hoagies, roast pork sandwiches, scrapple, pizza, water ice, soft pretzels, or any culinary treat sold at one of the city’s zillion Italian bakeries. No one needed a conference to know there are many fat people here. It is something anyone could realize by taking a stroll around the city. I say this as a resident of the area and someone who has struggled with weight.

The organizers aimed for the conference to be a “judgment-free event focused on creating a community for fat people by fat people, recognizing those who are ‘often overlooked because of their size’” and an opportunity to “navigate this fatphobic world and society in a different way.” The conference will supposedly feature panels discussing fashion, navigating fatphobia, social media influencing, and a keynote speaker known as “The Fat Sex Therapist.”

Because, obviously, fat people need to learn more about social media influencing than about health, exercise, and losing weight. This thing sounds like an indulgent disaster of rotund proportions.

“People just want to be able to be themselves — that’s the dire need for something like Philly FatCon,” one of the organizers said.

Flashback: Regular Exercise Can Help Shield You From Severe COVID.