NEWS YOU CAN USE: The New York Times would like you to have more sex, please.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a true NYT op-ed without a deeply right-on argument: “Having more sex is both personal guidance — your doctor might well agree — and a political statement. American society is less connected, made up of individuals who seem increasingly willing to isolate themselves. Having more sex can be an act of social solidarity.” To the barricades, fornicators!

Taylor concludes by saying, “So, anyone capable should have sex — as much as they can, as pleasurably as they can, as often as they can.” Cockburn would like to give praise to the Times where it’s due for offering sage wisdom during America’s bonking blight. A true act of public service journalism.

In the lead-up to Valentine’s Day, and in the spirit of the pursuit of happiness our Founders promised us, Cockburn implores you to share this article with your spouse, hook-up, crush or polycule (probably not coworkers, it’s 2023 after all). “Honey look, it’s science, the New York Times says so.” Could there be a more compelling case?

To be honest, I’m not sure I want to be on that intimate a basis with my daily newspaper. It’s not you, it’s me, Gray Lady.