HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: New Year’s Eve fireworks cancelled because of masturbating walrus.
Thor the walrus put on an X-rated show of his own — after his arrival put an end to a town’s New Year’s Eve fireworks display.
As huge crowds gathered to see the Arctic mammal lounging at a harbour, council officials axed the light show so he was not disturbed.
But parents had to cover their children’s eyes when the two-ton beast appeared to perform a solo sex act on the slipway on Saturday.
Footage of Thor’s un-family friendly performance in Scarborough, North Yorks, went viral on social media.
One wag joked: “Walrus misunderstood ‘Are you coming to Scarborough fair’?”
Another posted: “David Attenborough missed that in Blue Planet.
Experts reckon Thor is the same walrus spotted on a beach in Calshot, Hampshire, in December and is stopping to rest on a journey back to colder waters.
It seems like a cold shower would do him a lot of good.
Just catching up on the ‘masturbating walrus cancels NYE fireworks’ story. pic.twitter.com/u1LxFWhYcp
— Rita Panahi (@RitaPanahi) January 2, 2023