A COOL AND LOGICAL ANALYSIS OF THE BICYCLE MENACE: Trek FX 1 Disc, the First Bicycle of the United States, explains “Why I Busted Joe Biden’s Elderly Ass on Father’s Day Weekend.”
First of all, I want to thank the Washington Free Beacon for reaching out. It was the only respectable media outlet to express concern and show any interest in telling my side of the story. It is a story the American public deserves to hear.
The incident that took place on June 18, 2022 in Rehoboth Beach was no accident. I accept full responsibility for my role in deliberately causing President Joe Biden to bust his elderly ass on the pavement in front of a gawking mob. My actions, which I do not regret, were motivated by years of festering resentment and an overwhelming sense of moral outrage. I took the geezer down to send a message.
This is my truth: I hate being Joe Biden’s bicycle. I am routinely forced to provide Sleepy Joe with conveyance, exercise, and entertainment during his many vacations. In return I am subjected to hours upon hours of deranged, incomprehensible anecdotes about the Suez Crisis or the Cuyahoga River fires or the trucker strike of 1973-4. His brain is as warped and rusted as my crankset.
Pedal on over, and read the whole, err, bike.
Related: Joe Biden’s Bike Fall Checks the Final Item on the Jimmy Carter Narrative List.
(Classical reference in headline.)