April 10, 2022

STOP MAKING ELON MUSK SOUND COOL: Elon Musk is the Darth Vader of Twitter.

hen I think of Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal, I think of Darth Vader. It’s not that Agrawal himself reminds me of the Star Wars protagonist, grave concerns over Twitter’s handling of free speech notwithstanding. I just can’t help but think of the nervous imperial commander who receives Vader as he arrives to inspect the Death Star II at the opening of Return of the Jedi. “Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honored by your presence,” the commander says, with a lump in his throat. The Dark Lord of the Sith flatly replies, “You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I’m here to put you back on schedule.”

One wonders if Agrawal has a similar lump in his throat over Elon Musk’s recent appointment to Twitter’s board of directors a day after Musk purchased enough shares — 9.2 percent — to become the social media company’s single largest shareholder.

The move was somewhat of a surprise, given that the billionaire head of Tesla and SpaceX has been a vocal critic of the bird app’s policies on everything from its crackdowns on free speech to its lack of an edit button for tweets already posted. In a carefully worded response, Agrawal characterized Musk as “both a passionate believer and intense critic” and as “exactly when we need on Twitter and in the boardroom, to make us stronger in the long-term.”

Flashback: The destruction of Alderaan was completely justified.

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