I HAD TO LEAVE. THEY WERE HAVING FUN WRONG. Not The Onion: CDC Warns Against Shouting, Cheering During Sunday’s Super Bowl.

No, this is not The Onion …

As part of its recommendations to avoid spreading Covid-19 when in small gatherings, the CDC is warning against “shouting, cheering loudly, or singing” as the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl LV.

The agency recommends to “clap, stomp your feet, or bring (or provide) hand-held noisemakers instead.”

The nannies over at the CDC are also urging folks to view the game with others virtually or only with immediate family, even suggesting ways you can go about enjoying the game when avoiding other people …

I’m surprised the CDC didn’t use their platform to protest the Chiefs’ name and the tomahawk chop.

(Classical reference in headline.)