HOW CAN WE MISS YOU, IF YOU WON’T GO AWAY? Howie Carr: John Kerry’s back, in all of his tone-deaf glory.

“I had the pleasure of driving down to the inauguration in an electric car, a Tesla, back down to Washington and back to the United — to to ah Massachusetts uh and it was great. I loved it.”

A Tesla! America’s Gigolo has come a long way from his on-the-arm Buick, compliments of Bob Brest. Does Tesla have a dealership on the Lynnway like Bob Brest did?

Funny, though, how Kerry almost blurts out that D.C. isn’t really America (not that Massachusetts is these days either; it’s more like East Germany, or maybe Hoxha’s Albania).

By the way, Washington is 439 miles from Boston. Top range for one of those coal-fired Teslas is about 400 miles, and cold weather reduces it further.

Did anyone see Liveshot recharging his Tesla’s lithium batteries at, say, the Vince Lombardi rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike while he partook of a snack with the hoi polloi at the local Pizza Hut or Quizno’s?

“Can I get me a recharge here?”

Dementia Joe Biden’s incoherence appears to be contagious, and at the press conference the 77-year-old Kerry seemed to have been infected. All dialogue guaranteed verbatim:

“And we don’t have to have uh you know the the burning of a fuel uh which uh uh clearly contributes to a scientifically-arrived-at conclusion about the warming of the planet and the dangers to this planet. This is so logical uh I I don’t understand the opposition. I don’t think there’s any gain in it politically.”

What’s a few hundred thousand jobs, not to mention tossing away the national security provided by not being dependent on foreign energy sources?

Even Kerry had to acknowledge that he’s on a fool’s errand.

“We could go to zero (emissions) tomorrow,” he admitted, “and the problem isn’t solved.”

But who cares? The important thing is that as “climate czar,” Kerry will likely be flying around on his own publicly funded jet, in place of his second wife’s aging Flying Squirrel. And he’ll get motorcades. He’s already pontificating again about how he was “deeply involved in the Paris negotiations” and how significant “the Montreal protocols” are.

I don’t want to hear another word about Glenn Reynolds’ carbon footprint.