FBI ANNOUNCES “NOOSE” FOUND IN BUBBA WALLACE’S GARAGE HAD BEEN THERE SINCE 2019; NO FEDERAL CRIME COMMITTED. “The FBI report concludes, and photographic evidence confirms, that the garage door pull rope fashioned like a noose had been positioned there since as early as last fall. This was obviously well before the 43 team’s arrival and garage assignment.”

Note that there were “fifteen FBI special agents” on the case.

UPDATE: I’ve added quotes around the word “noose” in the above USA Today headline, since they can’t be bothered to highlight that it was actually a garage door pull. As Allahpundit asks at sister site Hot Air: “How unusual is it for a pull rope in a garage to be fastened with a loop? It can’t be that Wallace was the only person who saw it and mistook it for a threat. Other drivers and NASCAR execs must have come by when they heard about it to see the evidence. No one had seen that ever? Or were they just afraid to tell Wallace, ‘C’mon, man, that’s a pull rope’? Better to go along with the panic and let the FBI break the news to him than dare risk being seen as unsupportive.”