IN SOCIALIST VENEZUELA, BISMARCK SINKS YOU! Video has emerged of the Venezuelan patrol ship that sunk itself after ramming a German cruise ship (not a typo). Plus do not miss what former Navy man Jon Gabriel dubs “Thread of the year,” also at the same link.

Exit quote: “At this point it’s worth reviewing both ships’ armaments. Seen here posing moodily in the manner of a teenager that has just discovered My Chemical Romance, Naiguatá had a 76mm main gun, a air/missile defence gun, two smaller machine guns and presumably also some small arms. Resolute, on the other hand, is armed with nothing more deadly than a well-stocked library, Finnish sauna, and ‘a superb international wine list’. Some of its passengers are believed to have had binoculars.”