The Academy keeps surprising us, doesn’t it? Keeps finding new stuff to be ashamed of, embarrassed about and regretful of. They won’t be revoking the 600 Oscars they gave Harvey Weinstein while every single person in town was talking about his depredations, you understand. But they’re very worried about — I’m not making this up — species-ism. You see, humankind has just been discriminating in favor of humans too much, and it needs to stop. Everybody off the planet! We should all go live on Planet Joker, maybe?

“We’re talking,” said Joaquin Phoenix as he accepted his Best Actor award for “Joker,” “about the fight against the belief, one nation, one race, one gender or one species has the right to dominate, control and use and exploit another with impunity. I think that we’ve become very disconnected from the natural world and many of us, what we’re guilty of is an egocentric worldview, the belief that we’re the center of the universe.”

Should someone else be in charge, then? That seemed to be Joaquin Phoenix’s batty suggestion in his just-got-home-from-first-semester-at-Bard consciousness-raising monologue. You can’t call him a humanitarian because he suggested humanity was messing up “the natural world” while scolding us for drinking milk: “We steal [a cow’s] baby even though her cries of anguish are unmistakable and then we take her milk that’s intended for her calf and we put it in our coffee and our cereal,” he said. Well, that’s because we rule this planet. There may not be one race that’s better than another but there certainly is “one species” that’s superior. Cows would be putting our milk on their cereal if they could figure out how.

Also at last night’s awards: Obama-backed Film Director Quotes Communist Manifesto at the Oscars.