WORLD WAR III BEGAN WHEN DR. JOHNNY FEVER GOT HOLD OF A SMALL NUCLEAR WARHEAD: BREAKING: Bomb Squad Investigating Report of a Possible Small Nuclear Reactor Inside a Garage in Columbus, Ohio.

Chippenhook Court has reportedly been evacuated as crews investigate the report. Batallion Chief Steve Martin, the Columbus Division of Fire spokesman, is reportedly en-route to the scene.

Steve Martin? That’s the tell; the Matrix is glitching, and giving us another “girl in the red dress” fault in the code.

(Classical allusion in headline.)