HOW DARE YOU! San Francisco’s Greta Thunberg Mural Equipped With Laser Eyes That Shoot At SUVs.

When the lasers were first activated, they immediately targeted the carbon-emitting hydraulic cranes and aerosol paint sprayers used to create the mural. The glitch has since been fixed.

Sources confirm the lasers will be suspended when Al Gore and other climate activist celebrities visit San Francisco and drive through town with their fleet of Suburbans and Escalades.

From the Babylon Bee, America’s Paper of Record. If Big Sister’s lasers could be reprogrammed to eradicate poop on the sidewalk below the mural, SF could really be onto something!