When I really want to creep out a liberal, I tell them that I not only have met the Koch brothers, but once visited Charles Koch at the Death Star in Wichita, and dined with David Koch once in New York (in addition to some very friendly and thoughtful meetings in his office a long time ago). But then I usually like to deepen their dismay by going on to tell them that I also once had lunch with George Soros and some of his foundation board members (at his invitation and expense), where I had great fun pointing out how much Soros and the Koch brothers had in common, on immigration, foreign and defense policy, drug policy, and so forth. At this point, you can almost see the synapses frying and shriveling up inside the simple-minded Manichean liberal brain.

As Nick Gillespie of Reason joked in 2011, quoting a Reddit post: Why the Evil Koch Bros. Must be Stopped: They Support Drug Legalization, Gay Marriage, Reduced Defense Spending.

The KOCH brothers must be stopped. They gave $40K to Scott Walker, the MAX allowed by state law. That’s small potatoes compared to the $100+ million they give to other organizations. These organizations will terrify you. If the anti-union thing weren’t enough, here are bigger and better reasons to stop the evil Kochs. They are trying to:

  1. decriminalize drugs,
  2. legalize gay marriage,
  3. repeal the Patriot Act,
  4. end the police state,
  5. cut defense spending.

Who hates the police? Only the criminals using drugs, amirite? We need the Patriot Act to allow government to go through our emails and tap our phones to catch people who smoke marijuana and put them in prison. Oh, it’s also good for terrorists.

Wikipedia shows Koch Family Foundations supporting causes like:

  1. CATO Institute
  2. Reason Foundation
  3. cancer research
  4. ballet (because seriously: FUCK. THAT. SHIT.) …

If there’s one thing I know about billionaires, it’s that they only care about money. Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and George Soros. They aren’t fooling me. Bill Gates isn’t fooling me with his vaccination campaign in Africa. He’s just trying to make African children live longer so they will buy more copies of Windows. Wow. Not even trying to hide it.

Now, I don’t know why the KOCH brothers want gay people to have the right to marry. Everybody knows marriage is for a man and a woman. Even Obama said that. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve amirite? I haven’t figured out the angle. Maybe it’s like this:

  1. legalize drugs
  2. legalize gay marriage
  3. sell drugs and oil to gays
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT$$$

I don’t know exactly how it would work, but we can all agree that they’re evil.

The New York Times sure can. Read on at the first link for the Gray Lady blaming the Kochs for Trump’s election win in David Koch’s obit, despite their loathing of him.

More on Koch’s philanthropy:

Koch, who fought prostate cancer after being diagnosed 27 years ago, donated a record $150 million to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in 2015 through the David H. Koch Charitable Foundation. The hospital named a cancer center in his name after getting its largest donation ever.

The Upper East Side facility is described as one that offers innovative outpatient and ambulatory care to cancer patients.

In 2013, he also gave $100 million — another record — to NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, which has a building in his name…

He was a generous donor to Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, which named its ballet and dance theater in his honor after receiving $100 million in 2008.

Koch’s network also donated millions of dollars to promote charter schools through two groups, the Libre Initiative and Americans for Prosperity, to provide more opportunities to disadvantaged youths.

All pure evil, right there.